Random Musings of a Banded Bad-Ass (not really)....

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Gallon Club & The Tooth Fairy

I went to a blood drive today, and this donation brought me into the American Red Cross Gallon Club! As I was squeezing my fist to fill up my bag, my first thought was "How cool it is that one pint can help up to three people?" My second thought was, "I wonder how much a pint of blood weighs, and if there is any weight loss involved here?". Lame, I know. Anyway, I feel good regardless.

On the band front, I feel like I'm in no-man's land. I'm not sure I know how to clearly define "restriction". My band has made its presence known, as I have had several "stuck" episodes, but I am rarely full after 1/2 cup or even one cup of food. Even if I do get full on a small meal, it sure doesn't last until the next one. I'll have to chat with my surgeon, as I know he thinks I am doing well, and I sense he is hesitant to fill me up more. But, man, it's tough to stay disciplined, and I need some help!

OK, here's a cute story for you....My six-year-old niece Evelyn lost a tooth while on vacation in Hawaii. At the airport on their way home, her mom found the tooth in her purse, and her dad said "Evie, I'm sorry, we forgot to put your tooth under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy". Without missing a beat, Evelyn replied "Maybe the Tooth Fairy just put the money right in Mommy's wallet".

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Turns Out I Can Still Pack It In.

I went down to San Diego this morning to help my brother out with some personal business, and decided to take him to lunch afterward. Well, I was totally craving Souplantation, which I knew was a risk, seeing as they are an all-you-can-eat salad and soup restaurant, but they definitely have healthy options (if you can manage to steer clear of their pasta bar and baked potato bar and homemade pizza and bread station and sundae bar). Anyway, I went in with the best of intentions. First, I downed a decent size salad, and then I made my way to the soup, where I dished up a small bowl of half turkey chili and half veggie soup; so far so good(ish). I should have stopped there, and had every intention of doing so. Instead, I had another bowl of soup. And then my brother came back to the table with a plate loaded with pizza and other breads, and I caved. I first picked out a tiny piece of pizza bread and enjoyed it immensely. So I grabbed another. And as I waited for him to finish, I had a clear view of the sundae bar, where men, women and children alike were creating lovely swirls of Ghirardelli yumminess. I asked my brother if the soft serve was ice cream or yogurt, and he told me it was yogurt--that was all I needed to hear! I was tickled to see that it was even fat-free dark chocolate or vanilla (or the much-sought-after swirl)....So I served myself up a small/medium bowl (it's yogurt, right?) and then proceeded to drench it in caramel sauce (it's fat-free, right?). And I ate the whole thing. And I felt just awful. I was mad at myself for caving, after being so disciplined all month. I was mad at my [yet unnamed] band for allowing me to eat all of that crap with no problem. As I drove home I thought about what I had done, and why. You see, my brother does not know about my band (he has some learning disabilities and would not be able to comprehend even a basic explanation). I think I used his not-knowing as a free pass to cheat, since it was only him and me. I also think I learned that I can not handle the temptation of an all-you-can-eat environment, even now. Maybe when I am eventually in "my zone", but not now.

So tonight, I will punish myself with a nasty protein shake for dinner. And tomorrow begins a new day.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dragging My Ass to Zumba...

The good thing about going to Zumba with someone else is that I have someone to chat with between songs. The sucky part is that someone ALWAYS calls me the afternoon before class, guilting me into going (some would say that's a good thing, but I'm just "not there" yet). I sure want to love-love-love it like Gilly, but man, my knees kill me 20 minutes in! Part of the problem is that my cross-trainer shoes are too heavy and thick (those jazzy, low profile Zumba shoes are hard to find in stores and I hate ordering shoes online)--Does any one of my zero followers have a suggestion? The other part of the problem is that I am Booty-White-Girl with no rhythm. Sadly, my husband has THE MOVES, and I fear that sometimes he'd really like to cut a rug.

Alas, I'm coming to Zumba tonight, Dear Sister-in-Law.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It's Me, Jen!

So I know what you're thinking...."Crap, not another Jennifer!?!". Not much I can do about that, but please don't hold it against me. In all honesty, I have been stalking many of your blogs for the past couple of months, but don't be scared; I'm really quite harmless . So, I was banded on 02.10.10, after a lifetime of weight struggles. I truly can not remember being thin or even average--ever. My earliest vivid memory of self awareness about my weight was at age 6. I was standing in my garage wearing a green swim suit with frogs on it, and my mom and her neighbor friend, Doy, were there, and Doy told me that I should really try to lose my extra weight then, as it gets so much harder when we become adults. OK, maybe there was some wisdom to that comment in reality, but, really? To a six year old? I remember that Doy always wanted to blow raspberries on my belly because she said my skin was so soft. In retrospect, Doy was a little bit creepy. Anyhoo, I always figured that I'd be able to lose my extra weight someday, but someday never came. And I found myself at my highest weight at the end of 2009--335 lbs. My awesome husband works in business development for a medical practice management software company (billing, scheduling, electronic medical records) and they are pretty saturated in the bariatric surgery market. So, he took me to a seminar with a top-notch doc last July, and I hemmed & hawed for the next several months, until I finally made the decision and scheduled a date. Since the beginning of my journey, I have had 3 fills and have lost 55 lbs (42 since surgery). I have not yet found my green zone/sweet spot, but I know I am close!