Random Musings of a Banded Bad-Ass (not really)....

Monday, April 9, 2012

"Third World Medicine" [Part Deux of My Daunting Tale]

OK, to continue with my long ordeal, I'm on the exam table in my surgeon's office, and he has just offered to remove my port: no hospital or surgery center, no general anesthesia, just a couple of numbing shots in the belly. I am panicked, but I agree. He quickly preps my wound site, gives me two shots (stinging, but not awful) and I shut my eyes so as not to see all the blood (there was blood). He explains to me that this is kind of like delivering a baby....taking a relatively large item thru a pretty small hole. He tells me that he will not cut me, and if he can not pry it out, he won't proceed. Then he cut the stitches and began the pulling and tugging. It felt so very weird, but it was pressure, not pain. It took about 10 minutes to get it out, and he then told me he would cut the tubing and all of my saline would spurt out. That it did, and he held the port with about 10" of tubing up for me to see. He then tucked the rest of the tubing back in, repeated his contention that what he did was about as third-world medicine as it gets (no, he's not a quack, and I'm not sure I agree anyway). He packs the wound, bandages me up, and shows me how to care for it over the next several weeks. I sit up, I feel awesome, and am so relieved to be done with this step. I leave the office, and there is no mention of pain meds or antibiotics. It did not cross my mind, as I felt great, and apparently it did not cross his either. Oops.

I leave the office, I stop by Target on my way to our friends' house, where I will be spending the week caring for their two-year old, beginning at 4:00AM (this turned out to be a really bad idea). As I was walking thru the store, I had some weird shooting pains in my groin, but was not too concerned. I made my way home, visited with friends, ate dinner, then retired for the night, still feeling pretty good.

Unfortunately, I am still weak and tired, and will need to finish this post tomorrow. Let's just say my symptom-free, pain-free experience quickly went awry. Obviously I'm OK, but one week later, I'm still on antibiotics and pain meds, I have not pooped in eight days, I have my first-ever hemorrhoid, and I have had bouts with fever and dehydration (literally my first [adult] experience with either of these issues).

Until tomorrow,

1 comment:

  1. I am glad that you are getting your port back in order... although I am not sure what order that is. I am getting really concerned about the lapband problems lately. Joia has a slipped band which the insurance won't pay to fix, claiming it's a pre--existing condition... It is scary. I hope you get alot of relief from the port removal. What happens next?