Random Musings of a Banded Bad-Ass (not really)....

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wow, That Was Embarrassing!

It's been about 8 weeks since my last band adjustment (I was denied a fill early August, because I mentioned to my surgeon that I had experienced a couple of "stuck episodes"). For whatever reason, my [yet unnamed] band seems to have tightened up over the past week or so, and I have been getting stuck more often than not when I eat solids. Yesterday was very busy, and I did not have a chance to eat a real dinner before heading out to Zumba, so I grabbed an apple (literally off the tree), and ate it very slowly, chewing very carefully, as I drove to the gym. It went down just fine, and I headed into class with my thermos of G2 fruit punch (read: bright, bright red). Anyway, I was Zumbing along, and got pretty parched about 20 minutes in, so I grabbed my thermos and took a swig. Not good. I felt the liquid pool in my throat, and knew I had to excuse myself to bring it back up, for lack of a better term. (Incidentally, I also decided I could use my exit as an excuse to move to another part of the room, because the girl next to me had really bad B.O.--How do people not realize when they stink like that?) Anyway, I hurried toward the restroom, unsure if I would make it, when I spotted a drinking fountain much closer, and decided to dump the G2 there (please don't judge me). Well, horror of all horrors, not only did I expel a boat load of bright red liquid, but dozens of mini apple chunks as well. I panicked! I tried to shove them down the drain, but the holes in the drain-catch were too small. I had nothing to wipe it up with, so I just started to scoop the mess into my hand as quickly as possible. I got most all of it, but was struggling with the tiny pieces, so I decided to grab a paper towel from a nearby dispenser, and wipe down the drain. I turned around to grab one, and saw that there was a guy waiting behind me for a drink. I'm pretty sure he saw the whole chunk collection and wondered what the hell I was doing. I just wondered what the hell I was thinking. I made my walk of shame to the restroom where I finished my business. When I made it back with a paper towel, it was all cleaned up.


  1. You poor dear! I can't do apples at all, they sit like a brick in my throat. I don't get the B.O. people either, sometimes I want to just say something!

  2. This makes me recall a particularly humiliating walk of shame to the bathroom in the Perkins with a mucus draped t-shirt gathered up like an apron catchall... *Maria*-blogger from "This one time at BAND Camp..." Check out my blog at mybigfatbandgeeklife.blogspot.com